this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he shaved USA in his pubs
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
