How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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