All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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