If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
