I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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