If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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