he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
