Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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