I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
