forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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