Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Randomize
