yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
