STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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