i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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