maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
