My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize