You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
