she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
