i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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