I will die if light touches me.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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