We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
