Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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