There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
