Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it was like eating out sand paper
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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