just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
