She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
