I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
