Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
