She said her name was "party"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
