is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
