Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
