I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm jealous of your bromance
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
