these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
