tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
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Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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