She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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