We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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