Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
