Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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