Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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