I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
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good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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