Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
