We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize