try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
