He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think a kid would responsible me up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
