I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
