Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My ATM looks so different sober.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
