girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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