dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
