ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize