you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
