Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I smell like Dick and happiness
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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