there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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