You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
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How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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