Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I need to stop coming to work sober
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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