ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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