I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
