If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
