What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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