everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
