He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
