Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
