a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just had sex on a roof
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
