THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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