Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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