Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
