i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
