One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
