we have officially lost it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
