Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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