4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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