you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize