i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
